When Brenda started experiencing back pain, she at first paid it no heed. She put it down to a pulled muscle and carried on caring for everyone else, cleaning her spotless home, which she enjoyed doing. Brenda never sat still.
When the pain became unbearable, Brenda decided to seek medical advice. She visited her GP several times, eventually asking to be seen at the hospital. The medical professionals at the hospital told her the pain was due muscle spasms that they could see in her back.
Hayley continued: “When she was waiting to be seen in hospital she went and bought a stranger who was in pain a coffee at Costa, that’s how kind and thoughtful she was.”
As the doctor had seemingly confirmed the diagnosis as muscular, she visited her third different physiotherapist who recommended she get an x-ray.
When the x-ray revealed worrying lesions on her spine, Brenda was sent for additional tests.
In February 2021, the mum and grandmother was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer that had spread to her spine.
Courses of radiotherapy and chemotherapy followed, and Brenda visited our Focus on Living Centre for complementary therapy.
After a fall at home, Brenda spent time in hospital. She had an operation to try and heal the fracture from her fall. It was then discussed that she couldn’t continue with cancer treatment as she was too weak.
Brenda started physiotherapy in hospital and then it was suggested that hospice care might be able to help her get stronger. Although she was reluctant to stay overnight in St Oswald’s Hospice’s Adult Inpatient Service at first, she agreed to go as it was close to her home in Brunton Park.
Hayley explained it was a decision that was to benefit her and the whole family:
“The hospice was such a contrast from the hospital. It felt like a home from home. Mum was taken to a private room, and we were all there with her. Someone came to talk to us. It didn’t feel like they were only caring for Mum; they were caring for the family, too.”
Lindsay described it as “five star; the staff were true angels,” while Paul, who lives out of the area, found it reassuring that he could always call the hospice for support.
The care team asked Brenda what she liked, and, after revealing she hadn’t had her hair washed in hospital for weeks due to her lack of mobility, the team set a ‘pamper plan’ in motion.
First, Brenda spent time in the hospice’s spa bathroom where the team helped her soak in the large accessible spa bath. Relaxing mood lighting, soothing music and delightful scents were the order of the day.
“My sister bought her favourite Rhubarb and Rose smellies from Molton Brown and I contacted Mum’s nail technician who she’d religiously visited every 3 weeks,” Hayley said.
It was then arranged for Darcie and Tommy, Brenda’s nail technicians, to come to the hospice and give her an indulgent manicure and pedicure.
Hayley continued: “We all gathered in the Family Room and Mum was wheeled in through in her bed. It was snowing, and the grandchildren were out in the garden. We had M&S snacks, with Mum putting in her requests ‘for the children’, and my Auntie Christine baked her delicious cakes, which mum loved.”
“Mum was in really good spirits, she spent the whole day in the conservatory, it was a lovely day for everyone.”
Everyone appreciated the calm and relaxing environment created especially for the grandchildren who were aged between 3 and 11 years old at the time.
Hayley explained: “The kids had visited Mum in hospital, but it had been a horrible experience. I thought that was going to be the last time they saw Mum, so it meant so much that they were able to make those nice memories with her in the hospice.”
Brenda spent two weeks at St Oswald’s Hospice’s Adult Inpatient Service. She died on 9th December 2023, aged 61, with her husband by her side.