Oswald named in honour of Gran's care

“My mum would say to us that we shouldn’t be afraid of using the word ‘death’ or ‘dying’ because it was something that happened to everyone.” Lucy, Maggie’s daughter.

Maggie was a much-loved member of the St Oswald’s Hospice family and brought a wealth of compassion to her role as a Bereavement Support Worker.

She spent a successful career as a mental health nurse, having trained when she was 16 years old at St Nicholas Hospital, located close to where St Oswald’s Hospice would later be founded.

Maggie met her husband while she was training to be a nurse, and the couple had two daughters together.

The mum-of-two was passionate about the need for effective bereavement support and after joining St Oswald’s Hospice, she provided counselling to countless grieving families.

Maggie believed it was important to be open about death and dying and would regularly talk about it with her children.

Daughter, Lucy, said: “My mum would say to us that we shouldn’t be afraid of using the word ‘death’ or ‘dying’ because it was something that happened to everyone.”

Maggie would also regularly bring her two girls to the hospice to attend memory days and Christmas concerts.

“We spent a lot of time in St Oswald’s Hospice. It was a really nice experience. I know that sounds a bit strange, but it’s true.” Lucy.

Lucy was 27 when her mum was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer.

“Being a nurse, my mum would always say ‘I’m fine’. She thought she had gallstones so went for surgery to have them removed. It was then they discovered the cancer.”

Maggie remained stoic but Lucy’s sister, a doctor, knew how serious her mum’s condition was.

Her family were hoping that chemotherapy would help but after suffering from an infection, the treatment wasn’t an option for Maggie.

After a spell in the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle, Maggie spent Christmas with her family.

Soon afterwards, she was transferred to St Oswald’s Hospice Adult Inpatient Service to help manage her symptoms.

“She was adamant she wanted to go to St Oswald’s Hospice but I don’t think she expected to die there,” Lucy said. “She just got too ill to be moved again.”

Maggie died at St Oswald’s Hospice in 2012, aged 52 – leaving her family and her colleagues at the hospice bereft.

Lucy says her family’s openness around dying helped her cope with the devastating death of her mum, who she described as being a “larger than life character” with “a big, infectious laugh.”

And although the family didn’t get bereavement support at St Oswald’s Hospice – a conflict given that Maggie worked within the team – they still received grief counselling elsewhere, in turn fulfilling Maggie’s wishes.

“My mum said to me before she died that we should get bereavement support,” Lucy revealed.

St Oswald’s Hospice made such an impact on the family that they have participated in numerous fundraising events for the hospice – in honour of Maggie.

Lucy’s husband, Phil – who revealed Maggie checked his intentions to marry her daughter while she was an inpatient at St Oswald’s Hospice – is also a talented musician and has regularly performed for staff, volunteers, patients, families and supporters in the hospice and at events.

The pair also held a collection for St Oswald’s Hospice at their wedding.

But the ultimate compliment to St Oswald’s Hospice is that Lucy and Phil have named their first son, Oswald. He was named in honour of the care Maggie received at the hospice, as well as after Phil’s Great Grandad.